Rig (episode)

Sorry, I couldn't think of a better title than this XD; but, for those looking for the character, click here. Anyway, the third episode of the third season; Enjoy!

Script[]

Normal text = The character is speaking normally. Italic text = The character is singing.

(A black screen appears saying "10:00 AM: Rig is sleeping"; Rig dreams big-eyes, cute versions of the main characters are around here, slightly bouncing around with a rainbow scenery with squirrels and pies also appear; An alarm clock is heard; it keeps beeping.)
Rig: Shut the bump up!
(Rig gets up, and eats the clock.)
Rig: Mm, shocking.
(Rig rubs her eyes, and opens them, now seeing what she sees through her point of view, and we do from this point on until noted.)
Rack: Oh, good, you're up!
Rig: Rackles!
(Rig hugs Rack.)
Rack: Aw! Come into the kitchen, I made ya breakfast!
(Rack holds Rig's hand as they walk into the kitchen; Rig tries to grab a cereal box but the shelf is too high.)
Rack: Need some help, fella?
(Rack holds Rig up so she can grab the cereal.)
Rig: Thankies, Rackles!
(Rig grabs a bowl to pour the cereal in; the cereal is called "Super Sugary Sweetness"; Rig, instead of eating with a spoon or with milk, eats the whole thing (including the bowl) whole.)
Rig: Here... comes...... a sugar rush!
(Rig runs around everywhere in the house, wreaking havoc; when she's done, she "toots".)
Rig: Excuse me. Anyway, see ya, Rackles, I wanna spend some time outside!
(Rig leaves.)
Rack (voice only): Just be back by 12! It's not a mess, it'll just take me.... hours to clean it.
(A black screen appears saying "11:00 AM: Flying"; Rig is flying.)
Rig: Wow, I'm up so high! Thanks chickens for teaching me how! I wonder how I grew wings, though.
(Rig is noticeably going further down.)
Rig: Uh-oh!
(Rig falls down in the trash.)
Rig: My pootie-maker.... well, looks like I might need more practice....
Rack (voice only): Rig, it's lunch time!
Rig: Yaysies!
(A black screen appears saying "12:00 PM: Lunch; Rack has prepared a lunch for Rig.)
Rig: Mm! What is it?
Rack: It's lasagna! Delicious cheese and sauce, mm!
Rig: I hate cheese! It makes me gassy, and you know what happens when I'm gassy....
Rack: Right... (shudders) how about...
(Rig quickly makes her own meal, which is: hot dogs, cheese and crackers, sandwiches and a cake.)
Rack: Um.... are you sure all that supports all the food groups and is healthy for you?
Rig: Oh, Rackles, you worry too much!
(Rig savagely eats all her food.... except her cake; she then puts on a bib, gets a knife and cuts out a slice, chewing it calmly.)
Rig: Mm, undeniably irresistible.
Rack: (shocked): Well, at least you ate the cake normally....
Rig: What's normal?
(Rack sniffs.)
Rack: Hm, you could use a bath.....
Rig: Yay, wetty time!
(A black screen appears saying "1:00 PM: Bath time; Rig is taking a bath.)
Rig: I love bath time, but my feet always look so wrinkly!
(Rig puts her foot up, which is wrinkly.)
Rig: Oh well, at least I have a ducky!
(Rig squeezes the rubber ducky so much it breaks.)
Rig: Aw.... well, there's the bubbles!
(Rig blows the bubbles, which somehow grow and allows her to create some of her own, but combines to trap her inside until it blows up after being touched by a shark object.)
Rig: Good enough. Rackles loves cleaning up messes!
(A black screen appears saying "2:00 PM: Private time; Rig has some time to herself.)
Rig: (looking in a mirror): What makes someone a boy or a girl? I don't see anything on here that says girl.... why am I branded one? Just because I'm different down under means we can't be the same! Why can't I be a birl? Better yet, a boy? If only doctors were smart and realized we could be equal if we stopped branding each other these silly names.... oh yeah, that's right, potty break!
(A black screen appears saying "3:00 PM: Taking a walk; Rig takes a walk in the city.)
Rig: Wow, the city is so big.... and smelly.
???: Get back here!
??? 2: Never!
Rig: Huh?
("??? 2" and Rig bump into each other.)
??? 2: Watch it, ki-
Rig: Okie dokie!
("??? 2" takes a look at Rig.)
??? 2: Wait.... she'd be perfect for my gun I've been workin' on... kid, come back!
Rig: Rackles told me never to talk to strangers...
??? 2: Well, wasn't this "Rackles" a stranger before you met him?
Rig: You're right on that.... what's your name, then?
??? 2: I'm just a robber. I can't tell anyone my name, or I'll be back in the slammer. Even my divorced wife had a restraining order on me!
Rig: Ooh, I hate getting slammed by NH....
Robber: So, do you want to be a part of this gun I've been making?
Rig: Sure!
Robber (to himself): Perfect!
(Later; The Robber is about to use Rig (who is in a gun) to rob a bank.)
Robber: Hold your hands up! This is a stickup!
(Everyone is panicking.)
Cashier: Are you gonna get money or what?
Robber: Don't give me sass!
(The Cashier gets hit by the gun, and is hit with Rig's hyperactivity.)
Rig: Ooh, that hurt....
Cashier: Why, I feel as hyperactive as... an immortal puppy that's a million plus years old!
(The cashier charges at super speed, running away with much money.)
Robber: Oh well. There's plenty more at this here joint!
(The Robber hits Old Man with the gun, and steals Rig's youthfulness, making Rig have wrinkles.)
Rig: Ouchie.....
Old Man: Whoo-hoo! Finally! Now I can whip my snap! Hey, beautiful...
(Old Man chases the beautiful woman, who is screaming.)
Robber: Come on, work, you piece of junk!
Rig (to herself): I don't like this guy anymore...
Robber: Shut up! Just do your supposed magic!
(The Robber hits a random man with the gun.)
Man: Wow, I suddenly feel I have far more stomachs than a cow! I'm so hungry, I could even eat one!
(The man eats his money.)
Robber: You piece of crap! Why did I think you were useful?
(Rig looks as if she's about to die.)
Robber: Fine! One last chance.
(The Robber shoots the gun once more, which lets out a "pootie mushroom cloud", presumably killing him.)
Rig: Yay, I'm back to normal! Although, I have stubble now for some reason. And have a sudden hatred for my ex-wife, who is non-existent. And (masculine voice) Sound like a man. (feminine voice) Oh well!
(A black screen appears saying "4:00 PM: First Day at Preschool"; Rig attends preschool for the first time; the teacher and Rack are talking.)
Teacher: I think it's great she's attending preschool so early! She's getting along well so far!
Rack: She's a quick learner!
(Rig gets on a toy car.)
Rig: I'm gonna be the bestest driver!
Teacher: But are you sure she'll get along with all students?
Rack: .....Maybe....
Rig: (honks horn): Get outta the way, mister! Get your butt out of the way! Alright, that's it, I'm gonna throw some pies! (throws pies) Hurry and get outta the way, now! (honks louder) That's it, I'm warning you! I'm gonna use my pooties if you don't move! (bumps kid with cart) That's it! Bump you! Bump you, mister! I'm never driving around you again!
(Rig gets out of the car and the kid cries, while Rig acts like nothing happened.)
Rig: Did I do good, Rackles?
Rack: .......Maybe we'll come back once she cures her road rage.
Rig: My wha?
Rack: Never mind. Let's go.
(Rack and Rig leave.)
Teacher: I bumpin' quit!
(The teacher leaves as well; the kids are happy and attack each other.)
(A black screen appears saying "5:00 PM: Nap Time"; Rig decides to take a nap.)
Rig: (yawning): I should get some beauty rest. But, I'm not tired enough. Rackles, could ya sing me a lullaby?
Rack: Sure! Puppies need a little something to ensure they're asleep.
Rig: Okay!
Rack: Okay, uh, you can do this, Rack, puppies can fall asleep easily... um....
Rack: Rock-a-bye, puppy, on the tree top.
Rack: NH is about to give you... soda pop?
Rack: Then you'll swing around the trees.
Rack: And get poison ivy from..... the leaves?
Rack: Then you'll go get some lotion.
Rack: And everyone will wonder "what's the commotion?"
Rack: Then you pour it all over you.
Rack: Then they punish you, feeling blue.
Rack: You decide to make some pies to tire you.
Rack: But that doesn't work and doesn't tire you.
Rack: So you decide to just give up, but then, oh then, a...... liar? Growls.
Rack: It tells you if you believe in yourself you'll fall asleep, and, as it turns out, it's the love of your life, Tire!
Rack: So you take his advice and drift into sleep.
Rack: Then he gurgles, both of you asleep.
Rack: So I hope you enjoyed the song, it may not be the best.
Rack: But I hope it's enough, to make you rest.
(Rig gets sleepy, and slowly closes her eyes, falling asleep.)
(A black screen appears saying "6:00 PM: At the Movies"; Rig and US are at the movies.)
US: Oh my gosh, Thor and Captain America are fighting each other! Fight for me, men! So you can water my garden..... if I had one!
Rig: Are daddy and daddy fighting?
US: Hush! Thor's about to use his mighty hammer!
Rig: But-
(US gives Rig her computer.)
US: There, now die!
(Rig looks up "The Avengers" on "Encyloreadia"; she unknowingly sees vandalism.)
Rig: Hey, US, what does "yveucvilgggggggggggggj" mean?
US: Ooh, can you teach me how to say that?
Rig: Sure! "Eve"-
(A black screen appears saying "7:00 PM: Dinner"; Rig is eating pie for dinner and has a glass of milk.)
Rig: (cuts a part of it with her knife): Mm, very exquisite. Scrumptious, chewy, gooey, and, most of all, fresh! Manure pie never ceases to amaze me (uses napkin; drinks entire glass of milk, getting a milk mustache; Rig smiles largely)
(A black screen appears saying "8:00 PM: Duty (tee he) Time"; NH calls Rig.)
NH (voice only): Rig! Where have you been?!
Rig: Oh, you know, nutin'.
NH (voice only): Well get here right now! I have an idea!
Rig: Okie dokie!
(Rig jumps into a hole and encounters things such as pigs, pizza and other mementos from past adventures; she suddenly gets stuck when she hits a trash bag.)
Rig: Aw, I thought I told Rackles to watch where he puts his trash...
(Rig touches it with her claw and rips the bag, causing trash to fall over her.)
Rig: Oopsie! I hope NH doesn't mind me being tardy...
(A black screen appears saying "9:00 PM: NH!"; Rig and NH finally meet up today.)
Rig: (out of hole): I have those everywhere.
NH: Rig! Where have you been all day?
Rig: Oh, you know, doin' shtuff.
NH: Of course. But anyway, I have a plan.
(Through Rig's point of view, NH is wearing fiesta clothes with Spanish music in the background, while shaking maracas.)
NH: (Spanish accent): Care to dance, senorita?
Rig: Sure!
NH (normal): Oh, good, you agree for once!
Rig: Now do a split!
NH: Wha-
(Rig jumps on NH, making him do an "awkward" split.)
NH: (high): .......I'll tell you my plan after we go to the emergency room...
(A black screen appears saying "10:00 PM: Boring Time"; NH tells Rig his invention.)
Rig: So what's it about?
NH: Well, you see, once you insert music in it, people will be mind-controlled by the music and I will make them bow to me!
Rig: How can you bow when you're dancin'?
NH: Silence!
Rig: But how about we try it?
NH: Uh, how about I...
Rig: Let's test you!
NH: Rig, don-
(Rig inserts a Spanish-eqsue CD in the machine and zaps NH; NH now has the exact same clothes Rig imagined him having while he was "telling his plan", and doing exactly what he did there.)
NH: I hate you.
Rig: No problem!
NH: I have one question, though..... what goes through that peanut-sized brain of yours anyway?
(We now shift to the "viewer's" point of view (being the general one).)
Rig: Not much. (winks to audience)
(NH carries Rig on his shoulders with him doing Spanish moves and Rig pulling on his fur.)
THE END.

Credits[]

Starring[]

Rackliffelikespurple as Rack
New Heathera as NH
Utter solitude as US
Rigbybestie1510 as Rig
Old Man as Old Man
Robber as Robber
Cashier as Cashier
Teacher as Teacher
Cop as Cop
People at the Bank as People at the Bank
Man as Man
Kids as Kids
People at the Movies as People at the Movies

Writing[]

Written by: Rackliffelikespurple, The bright cube, Utter solitude, Kait Dunlap and Rigbybestie1510

Thanks[]

To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.

Rock-A-Bye Puppy[]

Lyrics by: Rackliffelikespurple and Rigbybestie1510
Rig: (yawning): I should get some beauty rest. But, I'm not tired enough. Rackles, could ya sing me a lullaby?
Rack: Sure! Puppies need a little something to ensure they're asleep.
Rig: Okay!
Rack: Okay, uh, you can do this, Rack, puppies can fall asleep easily... um....
Rack: Rock-a-bye, puppy, on the tree top.
Rack: NH is about to give you... soda pop?
Rack: Then you'll swing around the trees.
Rack: And get poison ivy from..... the leaves?
Rack: Then you'll go get some lotion.
Rack: And everyone will wonder "what's the commotion?"
Rack: Then you pour it all over you.
Rack: Then they punish you, feeling blue.
Rack: You decide to make some pies to tire you.
Rack: But that doesn't work and doesn't tire you.
Rack: So you decide to just give up, but then, oh then, a...... liar? Growls.
Rack: It tells you if you believe in yourself you'll fall asleep, and, as it turns out, it's the love of your life, Tire!
Rack: So you take his advice and drift into sleep.
Rack: Then he gurgles, both of you asleep.
Rack: So I hope you enjoyed the song, it may not be the best.
Rack: But I hope it's enough, to make you rest.
(Rig gets sleepy, and slowly closes her eyes, falling asleep.)

Other[]

This was a sort of exhausting episode, as I had writers' block, my comp crashed and didn't save half of this, and other misfortunes but I still overcame the odds! I think I did great considering all that!

Thanks for reading! :D